It was a normal Saturday night. Everyone was relaxed. My wife was watching a movie, unwinding after a long day at work. My son had finished eating his pizza ordered online. Even me and my wife had finished our dinner, and I was alone in the bedroom, aimlessly scrolling the feed on my phone. And then suddenly it hit. I felt a jolt of pain in my left chest and the pain was lingering. First I thought it was nothing much, because  I had been experiencing the same sensation because of a harmless cyst between my left shoulder and chest and I even had consulted a skin specialist about it couple of weeks back. I was taking medications for it and it was getting better. So when mild pain stuck my chest before, I didn’t think much of it.

But this time, it was different. The pain was intense and I could feel the discomfort in my being. I sensed that I had problems in breathing as well and it was not going good for me. My head felt heavy and it was spinning, and I felt an impending sense of doom. I got up immediately and frantically started pacing the room, hoping that my condition would get better. But it was getting worse.

I left the bedroom and entered the living room, breathing heavily and told my wife, “We need to go to the hospital, I am not feeling good”. She had a shocked expression on her face but acted swiftly. As nobody else in the house except me could drive, she immediately called the autowala who used to drop her and my son to the school (she is a teacher). He sensed the urgency and replied that he would be in my society within five minutes.

We wasted no time and immediately took the lift to reach the ground floor. My condition was no good and I was feeling breathless, dizzy, and was cursing myself that why I ignored the pain in my chest before thinking it to be related to the cyst on my chest. Meanwhile the autowala came and I told him to rush to the hospital as fast as he could. The hospital is 5-5.5 km away from my home and there was moderate traffic on the road. The autowala was speeding away like anything, overtaking vehicles recklessly.

In the auto, I was praying to God, begging him to save me, as I was sure that something terrible had happened to me and my heart was out for a toss. My mouth was beginning to get dry and even the cold breeze hitting my face couldn’t subdue my panic as I felt I was about to sink anytime. I could hear my wife constantly talking to me and the autowala speeding through the traffic and I was just holding on to the thin thread of life, “If I could just make it to the hospital without losing consciousness,” that’s what was going through in my mind.

Finally, after it seemed like an eternity I reached the emergency ward and was immediately attended to. All sorts of instruments were plugged into me and they took an ECG. In the meantime the intravenous was attached and I was given an injection. I could feel the beeps of the instruments in my eardrums and the emergency room lights dilating my pupils. Some minutes passed and the doctor on duty took my ECG results to the head doctor. After sometime he came back and said my ECG was normal. But he said my heart rate was fluctuating between 140-120.

This was immense relief. But the doctor said we have to do a TROP-T test to assess whether there is any damage to the heart. The result of this test was going to be out in about half an hour. I don’t know what miracle happened, but I slowly started feeling better and was much more relaxed now, especially after knowing that the ECG had come out normal. My wife was busy with the paperwork and with the doctors and I could her the activity in the emergency ward, the state of the patients which were much more serious than me.

Finally, the TROP-T test result came and it turned out to be negative. I heaved a sigh of relief and was genuinely feeling much better. The nightmare had passed. The doctors said I could go home. And we did. They said it may have been a panic attack. This ordeal of mine may have also been caused due to the high antibiotic dosage I was taking for my cyst, but the probability was low.

A panic attack? I was under no stress. I was completely fine before this ordeal stuck me. I am taking this as a sign from the almighty. Probably the almighty wanted to pass on a message to me. I am sure that a drastic change is required from my side. Since then I have been thinking, I need to change. Currently, the situation is hazy, but I need to take the initiative. This is the first step. I hadn’t updated my blog since last few years. I decided to update it today, the very next day after the incident. I decided to share my story with you all.

It was so real. The fear was overwhelming. The dread was numbing. The feeling of getting separated from my loved ones was unbearable. And above all, I didn’t want to this to happen so suddenly, without any meaning, just a like a lightening strike. There is still so much to do. My time has not come yet, but I was so close to it, this was all so real. As things become clearer, I feel this was needed to give me a new direction. Probably a nudge from God. I accept it gracefully and thank him for the chance and direction given. Let me see where the path is headed to, but walk I will.